The Best Gift I've Ever Received Was... (Prompt #33)

...a letter that one of my students gave to me in the middle of the school year. The student was applying to attend a charter school and had to write an essay for them to consider him. There were a great number of people who were applying for this school but his academic qualifications were high and I pretty much expected him to be accepted (or expected to believe that the folks who decided that sort of thing have no idea what they are doing).

His application essay was about my class. It was about how he felt that he was allowed to totally be himself in class and that he would not be judged by anyone for it.

Have you ever been picked on in class? I know I have in life. By other students, by teachers.

It felt so wonderful to know, that at least for one student I had helped foster an atmosphere where he felt completely safe and able to be himself (which could not have been done without the wonderful students who were always trying to ensure that everyone was treated fairly). Moreover, there was no reason for him to share this essay with me other than the fact that he was grateful.

At the end of the year I requested that my students do a college style review of me (which would not be opened until grades had been posted - not that they would be able to change my mind). They were honest, brutally honest in some cases. What did he do? He gave me another copy of the letter and just said thank you. That is hands down the best gift I have ever received.

If I Was Trapped In A Store Overnight I Would Want It To Be... (Prompt #32)

...someplace large where there would be an awful lot to do. The obvious answers are Target or someplace such as a giant sporting goods store. Both viable options, both not particularly thrilling though. What store really would be thrilling? There would be some neat food establishments that might warrant an overnight visit but that would get old real quick. A movie theatre probably isn't considered a store yet it would be fun to be in overnight. A store similar to FAO Schwartz would be fun although they really do rock a lot of really young child toys so it might get old playing with stuffed animals after a couple hours.

Basically the decision would have to be made based upon what would be the most fun for the longest amount of time. In an ideal scenario it would be a Mall where you could go into all sorts of different stores but since that clearly isn't what the question is asking I'm going to go back to the first, obvious answer; Target. It's large and has all sorts of junk in it that I could play with (bikes, mini-motorized cars, Big Wheels, etc.). There are also video games and giant televisions. They have food processing equipment and food, as well as microwaves and mini-ovens (plus if the fire alarm is turned off I could just grill in one section of the store). I could shower and groom with all sorts of fancy pants products I would never buy (again, assuming everything would be mine for the taking). I would stay busy and be able to move around a good amount, sounds like the best choice I could make.

Too bad this sort of thing only happens in bad movies from the 80's.

When I Was Little I Thought That When I 'Grew Up' I Wanted To Be... (Prompt # 31)

...all sorts of things and I didn't end up becoming a single one of them. I had a pipe dream of becoming a professional baseball player for a little while, only problem was I wasn't that good. I meant well but I was a chubby little guy and my physical speed wouldn't keep up with my mind and where I wanted my body to be at times. When I finally did start finding my speed I lost my interest in organized sports, ironic, huh?

There was a time that I wanted to be a baker (I think I can credit that one to my mother...a baker). I guess as time went by though I saw how much she had to work it became a little less interesting as an idea. It was also one of those things where I enjoyed cooking as a hobby (and still do) and so it made more sense to me to keep it as a hobby than to turn it into work. I would say the same thing about writing for a newspaper because I've never met a happy, content journalist and they all claim to love what they are doing.

I never had the dream of becoming a firefighter (although when I lived in CO the first go-round I became a volunteer firefighter, which was fun). I certainly never wanted to be a police officer or cowboy; I have nothing to prove. I really had no idea when I was younger what it was that I wanted to be. Realistically it took until I was about 25 for me to even realize that teaching was the route I definitely wanted to take and I'm so grateful that I did.

I may have never made it to the major leagues, and I certainly wasn't meant to when I look at it but I feel awfully contented about the way things turned out.

Finn Riggins / 250 Words

I like math. I like mountains. I like water like rivers and lakes. I like architecture and shapes. I like the concept of public art. Like you. Wearing those shorts. Those sneakers. I like to float down rivers in inner tubes. And swim in the slow parts. I like roadtrips. I like touring. I like staying with people in their homes. Living their life for a few hours. I like conversation. I like sleeping. I like taking a shower in the morning. I like breakfast. A lot. Like pancakes and hash browns and eggs and sometimes some breakfast meat. I like fake breakfast meat. I like to know where my meat comes from. I like to hunt. I like to fish. I like the wilderness. I like Idaho. I like to gather. I like the stars when I’m miles from city lights and there’s no moon. I like the moon when it’s big and lights up the desert or a prairie or this neighborhood I walk through when all is still and quiet. I like the city. I like New York City. I like San Francisco. I like Portland. I like the Carolinas. I like Colorado. I like Chattanooga. I like Georgia. I like Baltimore. I like New England. I like Indian food and Thai food. I like to collaborate. I like things that are made with hands of mine or those close to me. Geographically. I like geology. I like the ocean. I like to make my own rules.

The Opposite Of Al Bundy's Favorite Magazine.

It's time to succinctly review a handful of deserving albums. No time to delay, here we go;

General Electriks - Good City for Dreamers

This album is such an oddity, mixing pleasant noises, pleasant vocals, and a little bit of funk, to create a very unique album I'm not sure I could throw in my CD player and just enjoy. The album starts off with the funky 'Take Back The Instant' which is pleasant enough but when track two starts, 'Raid the Radio', it's as if you are listening to a mix and the hope is that more of the songs will end up sounding like this one. Again, the song is hard to label style wise, it's a mix of whistles, claps, bass lines, and several singers, and every bit of it makes me want to get on my bike and ride to a lake on a sunny day. 'Helicopter' is a little too Go-Team and 'Little Lady' is a little too sexy. If you aren't afraid of a band who isn't afraid to get a little strange and create unique music, this might just be for you.

Youth Group - The Night is Ours

This is just pleasant. Maybe you are getting tired of your most recent Coldplay album (who they recently toured with), or you always wished that a little taste of the 80's could infiltrate new music; if so, these guys are for you. Already huge in their home country of Australia, if they follow the SOP of Australian bands they have one of two routes to go, semi-stardom like John Butler while keeping their integrity, or international superstardom with little self respect like Men At Work. Either way this album is soothing if not at all remarkable or refreshing. 'Friedrichstrasse' and 'Babies in Your Dreams' are tear jerking beauties, but the whole album doesn't have this same sense of heart unfortunately. All in all, a pleasant album, fit for a Tuesday afternoon while sitting on your couch, hoping something might happen.

Aesop Rock - Music For Earthworms

It took me an awfully long time and an awful lot of (not very) hard work to acquire this album but now that I have it I'm so intrigued by how it differs from other albums. This was his first official release, and depending on the source it was either in 1997 or 1998. What I do know is that you can tell immediately it is not as polished as his newer work. My thoughts on that? I don't care. His lyrics give insight into the mind of someone just coming to terms with how to properly use his words to get across exactly what he's hoping to. Some lines are used in later albums to much more avail, some lines should be. The beats are far simpler than anything he's putting out these days (this certainly wasn't DJ'ed by N.A.S.A) but he has background singers on several tracks and plays around with his style just as much as he does these days. There are definite highlights with 'Shere Khan' and 'Plastic Soldiers', which really give you a hint of what might be to come (and what thankfully did end up coming). What blows my mind is that this guy even exists. I have sat down and tried to write a verse or two in his vein and it is such a challenge. My hats off to Aes Rock and my thanks to the fact that he keeps evolving at such a breakneck pace.

What I Miss Most About Middle School Is... (Prompt #30)

...hands down the camaraderie. I had a very tight knit group of friends in middle school, about ten of us in all. We were inseparable, well sort of. We were such a large group that there would be times where just two, or three, or four of us got together and did something; when it was a big event though, we were all there and we were all best friends. We had sleepovers, which meant movies all night and sneaking out of houses to walk around the woods. We went to concerts together. We all hung out in the same little mob during dances and only a few of us were brave enough to venture out and ask girls to dance. We would go into one of our basements, turn on AC/DC and we'd throw each other around. It was innocent and it was fun.

I only have a few really close friends these days for many reasons, the biggest probably being my personality. I adore the people close to me yet I miss those days when I knew, no matter what, any day of the week, basically any time after 10 am that I had at least one, and usually a whole bunch of people to hang out with.

Even if all we did was sit in my basement listening to music.

My Favorite Holiday Is... (Prompt #29)

...and always will be Christmas. If you know me well this might come as a surprise but like the Fourth of July, Christmas no longer serves its original purpose, it isn't all that religious of a holiday anymore. I don't know if it ever was (and I'm certainly not in the mood to look up the history of Christmas and chances are 95% of what I would find would be biased and have a subliminal (or not very subliminal) message or goal). So for all intensive purposes, I call it X-Mas.

X-Mas to me is cold air filling up my nostrils. It is a warm house, possibly a fire going. X-Mas is pancakes for breakfast, Bisquick only, no other brand will do. It's being excited to share with other people the things that I either bought them or as time passes more, made for them. X-Mas is people smiling, even people who don't normally have the ability to smile for too long a period of time. X-Mas is straight up joy in day form. Even the worst X-Mas' I have ever had were still some of the best days of my life.

There really aren't even any substantial competitors in my mind. Thanksgiving has its moments (and I love the food) but I get little joy out of two feasts, one after the other. New Year's and the Fourth of July are really holidays celebrating alcohol, not other events, so I'm all set with those. Easter? When I was real young it was fun to search for the eggs, not sure what the point of it was though. My birthday? Please, I don't even tell folks when that is anymore because it is absurd to celebrate it and I just don't need the attention (plus it lands on the Fourth of July).

So although I may or may not be celebrating it in the manner originally prescribed (and chances are I'm not), X-Mas still wins, hands down.

The Fourth of July Is... (Prompt #28)

...another eleven months away almost so this was a poorly planned prompt, alliteration or not. This year is would have gone by with absolutely no fanfare if our fireworks loving neighbors hadn't taken care of changing that fact for us.

I grew up with large parties on the 4th, not because my family is specifically patriotic (I don't think at least), but because they like a good party and everyone happens to have the 4th off. These parties were huge and lasted all day in my backyard and I really disliked them. Sure, they were fun to start, everyone was in a good mood, I got to help acquire large blocks of ice from the ice store in town (yeah, there was a business that just sold ice in town, how do you buy ice now? I guess from a convenience store). As the day progressed folks would become less jovial and people would be more apt to argue. I wasn't a simple child, I knew why this was happening; alcohol.

The Fourth of July as a celebration of America and her freedom's has long been an excuse for people to get drunk and shoot off fireworks. Sure, there are still small town parade's and some folks really take these seriously. Most people who don't have children though tend to skip these a congregate around an almost equally recognizable symbol of America, a bottle of Budweiser. According to InfoScan (a data collection agency), more beer is purchased on the Fourth than any other holiday (including Super Bowl Sunday). And get this priceless quote from none other than the guy who profits from that;

"Independence Day is the perfect time to celebrate America's rich brewing tradition and the economic contributions that helped build our nation," said August A. Busch IV, president and chief executive officer, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.. (this is a quote from an article that can be found HERE).

How patriotic.

I get it, folks like beer. Do you also like freedom? The excuse to act in a manner unbecoming and credit it to the freedom you have here in America is absurd. People in every country get drunk and act a fool, it's not a patriotic American thing to do and it certainly doesn't have anything to do with the reason we have that holiday.

I'd rather the Fourth of July be a little bit more like Memorial Day as I believe we don't spend enough time really taking a look at the folks who literally give their lives for our country. So I say let's not raise a glass for them in eleven months, let's learn about them, let's make their family a thank you card, let's meet as communities and just have an open discussion about what freedom means to us and talk about how it's changed and what our responsibilities are in this modern world.

Oh, what's that, you missed that last part? Oh, I see, you were in the kitchen, grabbing a beer.

I Promise Myself I Will Never... (Prompt # 27)

...stop learning from the various smart (and not particularly intelligent) things that I do. I know plenty of people who I've met in passing and who are close to me who say, "I'm too old to change," or, "I like who I am, I'm not going to change."

Folks, you're wrong for that.

I'm not perfect, far from it; neither are you. Since we are not perfect we should always be aiming to better ourselves. There are so many aspects of life which would be so much more beautiful if people were really willing to learn from their mistakes and other people. Politics is one of the sad examples. In politics it does not pay to admit that you have learned from your mistakes; the status quo is to deny even having made a mistake. That, of course, would show weakness and inferiority and god forbid we allow ourselves to just be the flawed works in progress that we are, it might be embarrassing.

I'm not just talking about learning that boiling water = burns; that's the simple stuff. I'm talking things like expecting someone to act in one manner in a situation because you would = unreasonable. I'm talking about learning things that fundamentally change me and make me become a better person. I'm talking changes that scare me and changes that challenge me. Sure, I could be complacent, I do plenty of things in a positive enough manner that I could survive living this life, refusing to change, being the same me that I'm at right now and say it's good enough; it isn't good enough though.

The second I stop trying to become a better person, and the second I stop learning from my mistakes, is the second I am done with this life. Only then will I truly be done.

My Dream Vacation Is... (Prompt #26)

...no longer that important to me. At least right now I'm pretty content with not taking any ginormous trips. That being said I am very much looking forward to the vacation that I have coming up.

I guess a dream vacation for me is my company than my activities. Good company can make even the seemingly lamest experiences cool. If I had good company and were allowed to make some executive decisions about what was done though I certainly wouldn't be opposed.

The outdoors would be involved. Canoeing has been big with me lately. Rafting is always fun (if you have a good guide it is even more fun...). I really like hiking although I'm coming to terms with not being huge on backpacking. I am never properly prepared, I always bring the wrong things, I feel great after doing it, I would just choose a lighter bag over a heavier one when possible (although even my light bag tends to be heavy due to how much water I tend to travel with). Some sort of sporting event would be good. I like live baseball even though I'd never watch a game on TV. I really love football either way. Amusement parks are fun although unless you are talkin' something huge, they can be a little misleading about how fun they are. Six Flags is alright, it's no Cedar Point though. Oh, and food. Lots of good food. That can direct a trip on its own (hey Kansas City), although it is plenty good to just have it add to an otherwise delightful trip.

My dream vacation is just having an opportunity to do things that I enjoy, and since I get to do plenty of things I enjoy in my day to day life, I don't really need a vacation that bad!

The Thing I'm Most Excited About School For Is... (Prompt #25)

...seeing all of the students. I will really miss the students that I had this past year (although my hope is that each and every single one of them will regularly visit; I know that's an unrealistic expectation, they need to move on anyhow). At the same time I am really quite excited to being working with the new class. I know about one quarter of them from track (thankfully I coached track!) and every single one of them was a terrific person. I've talked to others in the cafeteria, in the halls, other after school clubs, what a terrific group of people they are.

I'm excited for other things, a regular schedule, organized activities and the like. Mostly though, I'm excited to see all of the students and to improve on my teaching from this past year!

I've Never Laugh As Hard As When... (Prompt #24)

...I look at her and she looks at me, and one of us smiles and the other smiles and then someone does something silly and then a small laugh begins and turns quickly into a bigger laugh which she responds to with an even heartier laugh and before you know it we are both completely out of control laughing as if our lives depended on it.

And it is wonderful.

I read a poem (on authorsden.com) soon after the first time I was fortunate enough to laugh with her and I'm going to share it here, if the author happens upon this, I hope you don't mind, it's just such a great poem and everyone should read it, and of course, feel it.

My Laugh
by Steve Robertson
Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Most of my poems start when I have an experience and then think about it. Words start taking shape in my head and that's when I jump up to find a pencil before the escape. Such was the case here.

MY LAUGH

I hugged you close
You squeezed me
And with my head
Thrown back
In belly shaking mirth
I guffawed
With glee

And with apprehension
You asked
"Why did you laugh"

I laughed
Because
What you mean to me
Was too big
For a smile

The Greatest Movie Ever Is... (Prompt #23)

...would have been Dirty Work if you asked me five years ago. I was unreasonably obsessed with that movie. Sure, the premise is pretty genius; a revenge for hire business. And since I was a Norm fan and Artie Lange wasn't yet the creepy guy on Howard Stern, I enjoyed the cast. Flawed? Certainly, but so little of it was to me that I would have verbally sparred with anyone who disagreed with my assertion that it was the greatest movie of all time.

Today? Jeez, I'm not sure. I saw Stand By Me a few times this year and I had forgotten how much that movie meant to me. Comedy wise I was obsessed with Let's Go To Prison for a while but it certainly wouldn't stand up against say, The Goonies. I can still watch Old School and laugh near constantly (although there are a few points in that movie that just are not funny). Forgetting Sarah Marshall was comic genius (for the most part - there were lame parts). I guess I'm a Stephen King fan because the other non-comedy I'd consider would be Shawshank Redemption; such a terrific movie.

I can not definitively say what my favorite movie of all time is although it would be no challenge at all for me to say what my favorite television show of all time is; Freaks and Geeks. There is no other show that is so flawless (even people I don't like (hey Seth Rogan - you aren't funny) end up being human by the end of the one season series. And don't even get me started on Bill, greatest character ever created in theatre; hands down.

So although I can't answer this question properly right now I figure that if you give me another couple years (at least - hopefully many more), I might have a better idea. The best movie ever made could be in post-production right now...you never know.

I Will Change The World By... (Prompt #22)

...changing myself. There have been so many times in my life where my goal was to change the situation I was in, the people who were around me, the life that I had been handed. The thing is that I wasn't handed a life, a life formed around me based on the person that I was. In order to really make a difference in the world I need to make some serious changes to myself.

I had a long talk with my father who said that I was a work in progress with the emphasis on progress. The me of ten or fifteen years ago would never believe that I am who I am now. He just wouldn't buy that much change is possible. Looking at it that way has, on occasion, made me complacent. Complacency leads to my reverting in my behavior to someone that I changed from because I wasn't all that proud of them.

I will change the world, I already have. I will worry about bettering myself and the direct result will be me making a greater impact on the world around me.

UUVVWWZ / 250 Words

Tag: Name Emits Sparks
Expectation: Indecipherability bordering on Indignation
Known: Process, Sharing, Potential, Fascination
Unknown (X): Individual, Surrounds, Futures, Negatives
Sequence:

one
add selection add selection try try add selection lose one
add selection try try add selection gain one
try try try win work work
explain grasp invest explain try try
work work win explain try grasp
imagine draw explain try love
work entrance present win
show show win
present dig dig

two
do what try has work
work from make to add
add make work win have
try grasp add make win
drive drive drive drive drive
play play play play play love

three
after these actions, a certain point be found
certain point be once, and never again
taking thought from everywhere
“plants will take the sun”
leaf eats sun
we have had help with all of that
even years before we met! on harsh lakes of inspiration
all different, stunning, sad sometimes

four
waiting for practice out on the lawn
selling steam and drugs in a weird way
moving around the same city
to wit, a portal, i hope
eerie swell, missing tunes
music be constant
unconditional affair
irksome styles affronting, take my bike
salad spinner’s prolonged hustle

five
i am in love with my band & we play what
we play when we can
all things take time
untying shoes, waiting for the oatmeal to cool down,
college
& to just have “band”?
imagining a group who’s collaboration is all that they “had”
what would that do?

Poison Control Center / 250 Words

Bobby said don't worry ma I'm only bleeding, this incident he talks so quietly about over 5 verses at the end of bringing it all back home was just a metaphor for how many hard core points he got when his face ran into the headstock of a 70's fat strat at a Poison Control Center show a few years back.. The band who by fault of writing songs about the sun were billed with a nature's bequest for death.

Healing remedies do not listen to 4 track cassette tapes anymore, they drink 6 packs and head for the door. On to the street to scrape their knees, get stung by bees, and listen to the music coming from the wind through the trees! But the music only goes so far these days, and hard core points add up to nothing more than a .15 cent raise. I wish I could eat the document with soy sauce and rice but my hands get dirty without any plastic eating device.

You could say I'm scared to move on, but with a drummer who's a doctor he keeps the heart beat strong. But any man who sells posters at colleges would agree, that there is not one reason to finish that degree in philosophy. There are headstocks to run into, and strings to be bent, dances to be danced by Afro wearing wizards heaven sent! Bands are the glue that keeps this love alive, call the Poison Control Center to help you survive.

Ill Valley / 250 Words

ILL VALLEY is the freshest group of young musicians making waves (and riding them) in Hawaii today. A five-piece band from the North Shore of Oahu, ILL VALLEY has been making a name for themselves by rocking the islands with their energetic live shows. The all-originals music is a blend of Hip-Hop, rock, and dance. ILL VALLEY takes you on a ride through everyday life in Hawaii with often humorous lyrics delivered in sharp verses, and catchy, groove along hooks. The music relates to the audience by touching on common life issues coupled with danceable rhythms.

Raised on Maui and Oahu, the lead MC Hoku Haiku is known for his witty local-style lyrics, and delivery. The bassist/vocalist Willy Dogg from Sunset Beach is a foundation for the group, involved heavily in writing and arrangement, and giving his all in live shows. The beats are provided by drummer/vocalist Matt Voorhies from Pupukea, who doubles as the band's graphic designer. On six string and vocals is J Hawk, a charismatic character who moved to Hawaii from Florida 6 years ago. Rounding out the group is the bands only female, Philly born Bridget Appicello, on keyboards and vocals.

All of the members contribute to the writing of lyrics and the production of the music, leading to the well-rounded and eclectic style of the growing set list. Recently back from a tour in Tahiti, ILL VALLEY is gearing up to record a new full length album, and plans on getting back on the road soon. Check out www.myspace.com/illvalleytheband for more information, updates, as well as videos and photos.

Boston Phoenix Names Top Fifty Bands

Well the Boston Phoenix recently put out a list of the top fifty bands in America. Not the top fifty altogether, the top one from each state. So even though there may be a substantially larger number of bands in New York or California, or Texas or Massachusetts, it would be unfair to act as if North Dakota and Kentucky didn't have anything to offer. I got in touch with every single one of these bands through MySpace and asked them to write 250 words for the site. It didn't have to be 250 words about the band, although clearly something about the band might make sense. All I asked was that they write 250 words.

Did they get in touch? Almost all of them. Did they write 250 words exactly? Very few of them. Beggars...right?

I will be posting their responses in this manner; "Band Name / 250 Words"

While checking out their MySpace pages I listened to many and although I couldn't tell you another band in Montana at this point, I was impressed by many of the bands. Check them out, if only to be able to say you are familiar with one band from every state in this great union.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace (by Adam Peters)

(Ed. Note - not the most timely review, have I ever insisted on timeliness? Hardly. I'm pretty sure I just threw out a review of The Longest Yard...even if that wasn't old it wouldn't deserve a review...)

I won’t lie; it took me five months to finish IJ. I went ten hours on an airplane back and forth from San Francisco without it even in my possession. I had all but given up until I noticed a copy in the bookshelf of the friend I went to visit. I realized I must have been wrong if he had read it twice. What’s worse: I didn’t even know who DFW was before he died. I totally jumped on the bandwagon. Worse still: I have a degree in English literature and had no idea what was going on since the mid nineties. I’m now obsessed.

In short, IJ is a book about a tennis academy and a drug and alcohol rehab center just outside of Boston. Further, it’s about a universal need to find meaning in life through addiction. The addiction itself is less important than the purpose it serves. It doesn’t matter if it’s Demerol, tennis, AA/NA meetings, or killing neighborhood cats and dogs; it all ends bad.

It took me three hundred pages to realize that the setting for the book is a fictionalized version of the same hospital adjacent to the same hill (leveled off in the book to build the tennis academy) that I had been walking past twice a day on my way to the train for two years. This is where (page 300 or so) it became real for me; and this is where, if you are picking up this book for the first time, you should promise yourself to reach before giving up. I had seen the addicts he writes about lining up for their doses first thing in the morning. I had walked down the same Warren St to Comm Ave as the escapees.

In reality, I have no idea what IJ is about--you won’t either your first time through. I have my theories. I know they’re better than some of my friends’ who’ve read it, and on par with others.’ I know this is a review and not a masters’ thesis, so I’ll try not to ruin anything. I will ask a series of questions you won’t quite understand until you finish the book, and invite you to comment (adamepeters at g---- dot com):

What is JvD’s real deformity? Do you believe the story? I don’t.

Why does the Entertainment do what it does?

Who spiked the two top tennis players with the DMZ at the end of the book? If you think it was Pemulis, explain. I don’t buy it.

What’s the deal with Stice and the window? Is there a correlation with the bed on the ceiling? The objects on the cafeteria walls? I have no idea.

Where does the occult begin? Where does it end? Why does it only come to the surface when it does? Is this a mistake?

What’s the childhood fungus memory all about?

Where do Marathe’s loyalties really lie?

How does Oedipus fit in with the Moms, Wayne, Hal, Orin? I know it does; I just can’t make it work.

I could go on, but I won’t.

If you haven’t read IJ, and you’re still reading this, you probably should. It’s not quite like anything else. It’s as readable as it is dense and difficult, as colloquial as it is academic. You’ll get fatigued without getting bored. It will taunt you as you cart all 1,079 pages of it around and, if you’re lucky, get through six pages on your way to work. Then you’ll read something that really messes with your head, something you’ll still be thinking about months after you’ve finished the book. It will inspire you to reach page six hundred. Then seven hundred. Before long you’ll be faking an illness so you can leave work early and spend twelve hours getting through the last two hundred pages. You’ll be tired the next morning. It’ll be worth it, though. Let me know what you think (if, of course, you can decode my email address above).

My Best Friends Are... (Prompt #21)

...awfully important to me. Why? I'm not the easiest person in the world to be friends with and some people over the years have used that as an excuse to be really horrible to me. The best friends that I now have (few that they may be) tend to have a extremely open mind about me, my actions (even when they are illogical), and my personality. They are people who truly accept my flaws and even though they can occasionally be harsh about those flaws, they are always honest with me and that is invaluable to me.

I love my best friends; life wouldn't be as wonderful without them. Sure, I miss some of my old best friends yet they all taught me something about myself and what friendship means. I spent a lot of time in the past beating myself up over things I did where I meant no real harm and people's responses to it; I no longer do that. I work as hard as possible to be good to those people that I care about and they do the same for me. It's nice to finally have real friends in my life (even if they do live further away than I'd like them to).

I've tried to follow Gandhi's advice, forgiving those people I feel wronged by and when it hasn't worked 100% I have merely accepted what has happened and moved on. And that feels awfully good.

PS. Those are not my best friends...unfortunately.

Battenkill River / BattenKill Canoe Ltd. Review

BattenKill Canoe Ltd. 6328 VT Route 7A Arlington, VT 05250-8429 802.362.2800 Web Site

Whitewater rafting is substantially different than whitewater canoeing. In rafting you are in a big old boat with a bunch of people, you hit a rock and it bounces to a side. In canoeing, you are in a smaller and harder boat which, when it hits a rock, tends to tip back and forth. Whitewater rafting is exciting, whitewater canoeing can be downright thrilling though.

The Battenkill River in Southwest Vermont is the best Class I whitewater canoeing spot in New England. The river, which has about forty miles of quality canoeability, is an absolute beauty hidden near and around Arlington, Vermont.

A week ago I decided to take on a section of this river with a friend who had a slight wrist injury. We happened on this twelve-mile stretch of river one of the first sunny days of the season and the short 3 1/2 hour trip seemed to go by far too quickly. The river section we ran began slowly and peacefully, still at a higher level than usual as a result of the heavy rains. Within four miles it had turned into almost constant stretches of Class I whitewater followed by fast moving river. Technical only in a few places, we were excited at the fact that the whitewater that was there rivaled the only section of whitewater on the Allagash (the difference between the Allagash and the Battenkill was that the Battenkill had rapids every 1/4 mile or less).

BattenKill Canoe was the first outfitter that I found online and that got them my business; not the most logical way to choose an outfitter, definitely the most convenient. The staff was helpful upon arrival, willing to work with us considering we hadn't planned at all in advance. The trip was simple to begin, they have river access in their back yard. We made it to the final checkpoint about 30 minutes early (although we would have arrived substantially earlier if we hadn't happened across a damsel (and dam...that is the male version correct?) who desperately needed our help. When we arrived at the checkpoint at the border of New York we hung out in the sun and watched hordes of shirtless dude guys and their ladies hop into the river to raft whilst drinking. When our ride arrived we headed to the next checkpoint to pick up the next group. What happened next was so very indicative of people these days.

The group decided to split up, not meeting at the designated checkpoint. This caused for an extra hour of travel time and a lot of frustration for the driver (who was only trying to do his job and do right by everyone who wasn't irresponsible) and some of the more ornery customers. The group was ungrateful and acted as if they had done nothing wrong which certainly was an aggravation. The young man working for the company however was amazing. He dealt with everyone with as much respect as he could, working to try to please everyone. Not too shabby for someone who has just worked a long day and has to deal with customer incompetence. Color me impressed.

We left only to return a few days later to do the whole 40.2 mile stretch (which requires a night of camping...unless you start real early in the morning). Recognizing us from that mini-debacle we were given a discount and an apology by the owners. The two day trip was beautiful, meandering through the same stretch we did and then going further into New York state. The best parts were most definitely in Vermont but some of the more remote parts were in New York. Both sections of the river were very worth doing.

To complete the comedy of errors we arrived to our checkpoint early, called BattenKill, who were more than happy to come early to pick us up, and on the way back we got a flat. Life happens and we both offered to help with fixing it as best we could. Once back we were again given another discount coupon for helping with the flat, even when I tried turning it down they insisted on my taking it. I really could not say anything more positive about their customer service; it was impeccable.

Overall, a really fun river, a really great company, a really great trip.

Whether It's For Better Or Worse, There's No Place Like Home Because... (Prompt #20)

...you happen to have grown up there. Over the years I have grown further away from my hometown, Concord, Massachusetts. It's still a huge part of who I was and a large contributing factor to who I became. Truth be told though, it hasn't really affected my life in the last say five years other than being a little bit out of the way to other things I want to do when I want to visit my mother. I will occasionally take a hike somewhere I used to go but more often than not I just go there with a specific goal in mind (visit mom) and then with every intention to immediately leave as I have no other business there.

It's nearly impossible to completely detach yourself from where you came from unless you are making a conscious effort to do so and I see no need to. Concord was good to me at times, at times I put myself in situations where the town didn't seem so good to me. Either way the whole experience was just a fact of my life, nothing more and not much less either.

I still have terrific memories of Walden Pond pre-crowded and gross days. I still remember the Toy Shop and how cool the train going around it was. New London Style Pizza, Friendly's, the Post Office, the Cheese Shop, all of those things have a place in my memory and to a lesser extent, my heart. What really has managed to keep Concord in my heart is a more recent experience which has nothing to do with it being home; my working at Concord Academy during their summer camp (and eventually running the Teen Adventure program). All in all, this made me feel just as at home as knowing every road in the town, or knowing almost every face at my mom's bakery.

In truth there's no place like wherever you were the happiest. Since I'm happier now than I have ever been, there's no place like here.

The Lodge at Moosehead Lake Review

"We want people to leave here feeling like they've been hugged." - Linda Bortis

Just reading that I know I've been hugged recently by someone who really cares about my well-being. Although it is a metaphorical hug, it still felt all sorts of sweet.

The Lodge at Moosehead Lake (368 Lily Bay Rd, Greenville, ME‎ 207.695.4400‎ Website) might just be the nicest place you can stay in the state of Maine. It isn't just the lodging though that makes the Lodge such a spectacular vacation destination; there is so much more.


Lodging

There as so many options these days for places to stay. Some are fancy, some are purposefully simple. Some are expensive, some are (relatively) cheap. Some are in great locations, some serve as their own location. With so many choices though it seems only reasonable to be picky enough to choose destinations which have everything you are looking for. The Lodge has five guest rooms in the main building and four suites in an outbuilding; all of which have their own unique character. For the most part these rooms were stunning, some more than others. The suites were definitely more spacious yet didn't necessarily outshine the design choices in some of the other rooms.



We stayed in the Katahdin, purposefully designed for a romantic getaway and a favorite of honeymooners and folks celebrating their anniversary. Kramer notoriously tried to build separate levels in his living room to no avail but the Katahdin room does it with style. Everything from the ultra comfortable bed to the plush bathrobes was flawless in design and consideration of the guest. There were chocolate truffles to snack on, the weather report for the next day locally (and at home!), and more amenities than you could shake a stick at.

Co-owner Linda Bortis commented quite correctly that it is the little things that make the big differences. When her and her husband Dennis moved in, they stayed in every room and tried to figure out what it might be missing, what it needed to make it that much more welcoming, and then they took care of it. It was hard to find anything that hadn't been thought of.

Dining

The lodge boasts a restaurant staffed by a CIA graduate and assisted by both Linda and Dennis. The premise is 'Up North' cuisine which translates to foods with local color. Sweet Maine Crab Cakes, Maine Lobster, local bread and buffalo, Clam Chowder. Unpretentious food that isn't afraid to be fancy. The restaurant overlooks the Lodge's backyard and Moosehead Lake. A view so beautiful that even at sunset you don't find yourself wanting for more sun when it is cloudy.

We ordered a bottle of Saint M Riesling which went absolutely beautifully with the entire meal. For the meal we each went three courses.

First course - Caesar salad and Firecracker Duck Spring Rolls



The salad was standard, nothing mind blowing although the croutons were a little softer than normal which made for a less abrasive bite when you got one. The spring rolls were delicious. The duck was maybe even unnecessary as the sauce it was served with and the various vegetables in the spring roll were flavorful enough.

Second course - Mini penne pasta with fresh tomatoes and BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich



The mini penne was visually appealing yet had little kick to it. The flavors were mild and none really stood out above the rest. The BBQ pulled pork was a whole other story; it was absolutely delicious. Not drenched in sauce yet extremely potent and flavorful, it was messy and filling as a BBQ sandwich should be but not a mess by any means. The home made sweet potato chips that came with it were hot out of the oven, some soft, some crispy, every single one delicious.

Third course - Lemon tart with fresh berries and chocolate cake

Although a bit tart, the lemon creme was delicious and didn't need the accompanying chocolate flavor to make it great. The shell was dry which meshed well with the very moist lemon creme. The chocolate cake was chocolate cake; delicious. There was a creme sauce that came with it and that added necessary flavor to it which was otherwise lacking a bit.

The server, Georgine (sp?), was gracious, considerate, and even comical at times. The three other couples at dinner were all celebrating something different and it made for an even more jovial meal.

Location

Although not near any standard vacation destination in Maine (i.e. the Coast), Greenville, ME and the entire Moosehead Lake region is a haven for people who love the outdoors. Within short drives there are several major mountains to climb, there are lakes and coves to explore, and so much more. In addition, you are only two hours away from both of the major rafting locations in Maine, and less than an hour away from the Canadian border. The beauty that this region holds is a testament to the people who live there and how much they value the outdoors and the environment. Sure, it isn't a resort town, how in the world isn't that a good thing? Dennis summed their location up in one sentence which rang true for us the entire time we were there; "This area defies you to be tense and on a schedule."



Hosts

After dinner we took a trip downstairs to Chloe's Pub (named affectionately after their French bulldog Chloe) for a game of darts and a nightcap. Linda and Dennis were both schmoozing with the customers and we were helped by a young lady at the bar. As the game was coming to a close and the patrons were trickling out Dennis made his way over to us and we had a chance to sit down and chat about his experiences at the Lodge. Well spoken and thoughtful in his choice of words he talked about what he loves about the business and shared his thoughts on the different types of people who show up at the Lodge.



Although he talked about his regular days being over twelve hours he followed it up by saying that he was also in a situation where he could take a brake and enjoy the natural beauty around him, something he couldn't previously do while in corporate America. One break he decided to take was to bring us to a piece of property a friend of his bought which had a specifically spectacular view of the whole region. It was clear at this moment that to Dennis, and to Linda as well, the Lodge isn't just a business or a job, it is a way of life. Fortunately for the world, it's a way of life that you can share with them, even if only for a few nights.

Penobscot Whitewater Rafting - Penobscot Adventures / NEOC Review

Oh the Penobscot River how I love thee. Although there are several options for whitewater rafting in New England, the two best happen to both be in Maine; the Kennebec and the Penobscot. This past weekend I had an opportunity to travel up and take one more trip on the river as part of a larger story which will be published later this year. The idea is that I will compare and contrast different parts of the country for their rafting and the areas that surround their rafting industries. Instead of just critiquing the actual rafting, I will compare one to another and also compare the companies I deal with alone the way. First company? Penobscot Adventures.

Penobscot Adventures P.O. Box 721 Bingham ME 04920 877.356.9386 www.penobscotadventures.com

I sent out a blanket e-mail asking companies if they might be willing to sacrifice a more experienced guide (and ideally someone more invested in the company) for a day of rafting with me. The first e-mail I received was from PA (although three other companies responded with interest). Maureen McDonald, co-owner and wife of Dan McDonald, was incredibly helpful with setting up rafting and lodging, promising the best guide she had for that day and being just invaluable with lodging. Although The Big Moose Inn (88 Pine St, Millinocket, ME‎ - 207.723.8391‎) was definitely overpriced but considering it had a bar downstairs and was next to a campground, it was incredibly quiet - a real treat in a whitewater area. The average guest tends to be in their 20's or 30's, male, drunk, and obnoxious. To have a peaceful nights sleep the night before rafting really was delightful.

The Penobscot is a river that I have grown to love. After years of going with middle schoolers at the summer camp I worked at I feel incredibly fortunate to have traveled down the river with so many excellent young people and so many excellent guides. I have lucked out time and time again and was expecting the same experience on this trip. Rapids such as Exterminator and the Crib Works always left me with a racing heart and I still never felt anything but safe on them.

To become a raft guide you don't need to be able to do a whole lot. You don't need to be in good shape (strong yes, healthy no). You don't need to cut back on drinking or hard living. You don't need to be educated about anything but the river. What do you need to become a raft guide? You need to be good with people, you need to know that you are providing people with a once in a lifetime experience, and you need to make sure you are keeping everyone safe. Until this past Saturday I have never felt unsafe on the Penobscot River.

The 'best guide' that I was provided was Dan McDonald, the co-owner of Penobscot Adventures. I was immediately excited at the prospect of having an opportunity to go rating with the owner of PA (as I had previously gone rafting on the same river with the owner of New England Outdoor Center - which I will share with you later). The trip started out fairly well. We geared up at their camp and met with the adorable couple in their 50's who would be the only other two joining us on our boat. The other boat was five huge guys from Nova Scotia and their guide was going to be a portly comedian named Bob. We started the trip at the lower half of the river and when I inquired why Dan told us that it was because the upper half was more challenging and that it gave us a chance to learn to work together. This is certainly correct, the majority of the Class IV and V rapids are up top and it is actually a great idea to practice lower down (even if I don't personally like the shuttle back to the top - it drags the day from a five/six hour trip to an eight hour one).

The second we were on the water though everything changed. Dan immediately started criticizing everyones stroke and instead of just trying to teach it actually just insulted the crew saying; "None of you have ever been taught how to paddle."

Now I haven't been guiding on the Penobscot for more than ten years as he has but I've gone rafting more than twenty-five times, ten or so on the Penobscot. I've gone on 40 and 90 mile canoe trips and I have been told over and over by countless guides and friends that my stroke is correct; I've even asked to be critiqued by folks I felt did a terrific job. Dan felt that his experience trumped any of ours and broke the first cardinal rule of guiding; he was rude to his customers. This is a once in a lifetime experience for many people as I mentioned and for the couple with us he was just beginning to make it one of the most stressful life experiences they would probably ever have.

While talking about how I didn't know how to paddle, Dan also insisted on pointing out that I had no idea how to properly hold on. He asked if Northern Outdoors taught me and I said yes, to which he replied, "I knew it. I could tell from the way you hold your paddle." Ladies and gentlemen, I've never gone rafting with Northern Outdoors. Time and time again during this trip he talked trash about other rafting companies even having the audacity to talk about his superior safety record.

Having gone in boats over the first fall we were going to take I knew the exact two routes that one can take and I immediately knew that the tail end of the boat was not where it should be. I'll take credit for my falling out to an extent, had I been faster with grabbing the hold on rope (which he never called for me, or the 50 year old grandmother who fell out as well, to hold onto) I would have never fallen into the water. She was a whole other story. I took in a deep breath of water and I was freaking out; I couldn't breathe and I was not close to the boat. When I finally got back next to the boat they were in calm water and where was Dan? In the back, watching two other people lift me into the boat. Second cardinal rule broken; never make your guests feel unsafe. It is his job, his responsibility to make sure that everyone gets back in the raft and he should be number one trying to help us both in, especially when in water calm enough that he has no need to steer.

From that point on it was just one unpleasant experience with Dan after another. The boat was noticeably shaken up after this experience and he insisted on doing some waterfall surfing, which is nerve-wracking for me at times and literally no one in the boat was having a good time. Being in a service field is about being able to read your customers and it was clear that he had no skill in this at all. He could not read the fear on that woman's face, or the discomfort on the faces of the rest of us. Once done with surfing he had the gall to actually make fun of the woman for her fearful behavior. How dare he. Who does he think he is? This woman had never gone rafting before and because of his incompetence he tried to make her feel bad.

I have never met anyone with less empathy and more arrogance.

I could go on and on about the things that made this a terrible experience (like the fact that he asked us our political leanings, our feelings on global warming, swore profusely, and talked about the best way to murder someone and get away with it) but instead I'm going to just say that under no circumstance would I recommend anyone in any situation to go rafting with this company. Now, I'm going to switch gears and talk about another outfitter who deserves some credit.

New England Outdoor Center 1221 Medway Road, Millinocket, ME‎ 207.723.5438‎ www.neoc.com

During our raft expedition with PA, the owner made a comment about how big businesses were just better sometimes and that's why they become so big. NEOC is a perfect example of this. They are bigger, they have a nicer facility, they've been around longer, they have learned how to be a big business. For a long time I felt that NEOC improperly dealt with their campsite (as every time I have stayed there it has been near impossible to get a good nights sleep because of all the drunken debauchery taking place - which NEOC does nothing about). The last time I stayed there this was the case and even after several complaints about the offending group from several guests, nothing was done. The next morning I started off disgruntled (as did 2/3 of the other folks waiting to raft). A few attempts at light-hearted humor by the staff didn't go over well and they realized they should cut it out. What was their solution? They put that group with their craziest guide and separated everyone else up accordingly. I ended up with the owner of NEOC and it was the best experience I have ever had rafting outside of a camp group.

He was cordial, down to earth, knowledgeable and not condescending. He realized that we were not locals, and he didn't treat us as any less human because of that. He knew that we were on our vacation and catered to us flawlessly. It was a mixed group of myself, a friend, and a family (teenage and older). He kept it fun, lively, told jokes that were just racy enough to interest the teens and funny enough to keep us laughing. He pointed out animals and tried to help anyone who seemed as if they might not be having the time of their life. And guess what? Everyone had the time of their life.

All in all, the Penobscot River is gorgeous, it's got some nice big falls, and some nice rapid series'. Coming up, reviews of the Kennebec, the Salmon River in Idaho, the Colorado River in Colorado, and several others TBD!

My Family Is... (Prompt #19)

...a pretty big mystery to me. I don't really want to write this one right now but since I've done them in order thus far I intend to continue to for the rest of them. My family is a source of happiness and a source of contention. I love them for many reasons and we just don't see eye to eye on most everything. I value family for what it is meant to be - these are the people who are in your life no matter what (well, mostly they are). So whether or not you are similar to them, you must try to accept and value them as they are. This is something that I have had serious challenges with as has the rest of my family. We never seemed to really learn the idea of accepting each other for who they are; we kind of want who each other is to change.

I love my family regardless of how much I like them at any given time. Our shared experiences create a bond which tends to be stronger than formed bonds (although life has proven that any bond can be broken or injured to a certain extent). What do I know about family? Not much. Perhaps in five or ten years I will have a better understanding of what family means and how to be a better member of one! Only time will tell.

Summer Is... (Prompt # 18)

...so delightful, rain or sun! I hear folks all the time whining about the weather this summer. I get it, you can't sit at the beach; how boring is that anyway!? I'm not saying you need to get out and do something every day, there is no reason to act as if doing so would be terrible though. Over the last seven days I canoed a little over eighty miles. Did it rain? You better believe it. Was it freezing cold at times? Only when I was too much of a fool to dress properly. It was also an absolutely amazing time and I wouldn't trade a moment of it for anything. Days of rain in a canoe makes for a much stronger appreciation of the sun when it does shine through.

Summer weather is here finally yet I really want to stress how much that really doesn't matter. It's possible to hike in the rain. Canoeing in the rain is beautiful. Barbecue in the rain (that's why they have covers I believe), play in the puddles. Just enjoy the weather for what it is.

Enjoy the summer for what it is; warmer weather (even if it is wet this year), longer days, smiling faces (if folks would just accept life for what it is and try to make the best of it!). Summer is here and I'm enjoying it an awful lot.

High School Was... (Prompt #17)

...absurd in every possible way. It blows my mind to look back and see what sort of person I was in high school. Many of the good things were there but they were most definitely under a heap of teenage angst which certainly greatly affected my high school years. When I hear adults talk about high school being the best years of their lives I shudder at the thought that anyone could consider high school to be the best years of their life. I had a terrific time in high school regularly, even when things were a mess there was more joy than I was willing to admit at the time. Best time of my life? Thank God it wasn't.

Every day that I live and grow a bit as a human being is a better day than all of high school put together. If I wasn't progressing as a human being, trying to constantly better myself (and making mistakes along the way), what would be the point of going on. There's a push these days to share sentiments about how life isn't about the past or the future, it's about the now and nothing could be more correct and powerful. The second we stop looking towards the future as if it is something better than the present, the moment we look at the now as the best moment of our lives, only then will we really be living.

Tim McGraw had a huge song a few years back, "Live Like You Were Dying". I love the song and I loathe the song. I get it, everyone should live like it was their last day. I loathe how folks choose to interpret it; live as if tomorrow doesn't matter. What it means to me is that today is all that matters so if today was your last day were you as helpful and kind as you could have been, as forgiving and forgetting, as compassionate and caring.

Well, were you?

If I Could Give Myself Any One Nickname It Would Be... (Prompt #16)

...something that would implore everyone to automatically want to fear and respect me, love and cherish me, and need to get to know me while being far too afraid to approach me;

El Nino.

Wait, is that already a joke that someone made? I feel like it is familiar, maybe from SNL? If it is that is a shame because SNL hasn't been funny in years (thanks Horation Sanz, et. al.) It's a lot harder to come up with a funny nickname for yourself than for someone else. While working years ago I gave my good friend Matt a nickname; LP (short for Lamp Post) although these days I just call him post. Why did he get the nickname? We picked arbitrary items that were around since we were the only two who hadn't yet acquired nicknames. What was mine? Steaky. Well, I guess that's as good as any, right?

Steaky.

I don't imagine anyone will love, hate, or feel much of anything about that one. At least my nickname isn't Alignment Guy, Leprechaun, or Waste Water...

Interview with RyMo (Ryan Moran), drummer for Slightly Stoopid

Alright, how did a band that isn’t on a major label, even one with as large a fan base as yours, manage to pull off touring with Snoop Dog and Stephen Marley?

We've been touring a ton over the years and it's really paying off. These days having a major label isn't necessarily going to get your music heard; you have to go out and work for it. The industry has changed dramatically over the last decade, and the grass roots way of touring and selling tickets is the only way up. I feel like the dues paid have rewarded us with a tour like this. Snoop, Stephen and Mickey Avalon; toooo fun.

What advice would you give to bands coming up having a hard time succeeding as musicians?

The advice I would give any band is simple, hard work and sacrifice pays off. It takes a long time to build something like this, and we've all had to make sacrifices to ourselves and those around us to get where we are. To have longevity in the music business, you need to have a strong foundation of loyal fans that dig what you do and how you do it.

Everyone who knows anything about you knows that you were originally signed by Bradley Nowell (of Sublime) for Skunk Records. How did his band, and Bradley as a person, influence you and your music?

Yes it's true that Brad Nowell signed the band to his 'new' label (at the time) Skunk Records. He and Miguel Hapboldt created Skunk to help up and coming bands get their music made. His influence is obvious in the musical legacy he left behind. Turn on the radio and chances are you'll hear some sublime within minutes. He was a good friend and mentor to Miles and Kyle.

Miles said in an interview that with Skratch Magazine that “everything we do revolves around” weed. In an interview in Real Skate, an unidentified member of the band was quoted as saying, “I don't do drugs. I don't consider weed or beer as drugs”. I don’t wanna argue semantics here but they are drugs, by definition. How do you justify glorification of things that do cause lots of people lots of problems? Do you not have any concerns about how excessive marijuana use affects people who don’t also happen to be talented musicians on tour with Snoop Dogg?

Haha. Yes it's true that drugs and alcohol can cause problems. I think all good things in moderation are fun. We aren't encouraging people to make poor decisions. We are living a lifestyle that works for us...and many, many others.

How is the record label working out so far? Who are you excited about?

The label is alive and well. We are excited about it and helping younger bands succeed. The Expendables are doing really well. They are on tour with 311 and Ziggy Marley right now.

Within ten years Slightly Stoopid will…

In ten years Slightly Stoopid will be touring tons, surfing often and living the dream.

Clay Hill Farm Restaurant Review

220 Clay Hill Rd, York, ME‎ - (207) 361-2272‎ www.clayhillfarm.com

Small farm restaurants are not as easy to find as one might think (or hope) in an area such as southern Maine or eastern NH. There is a bed and breakfast or 'country inn' on every other corner and almost no eating equivalent within miles. Although substantially fancier than many farms I've ever seen, Clay Hill definitely is a restaurant based around *some* farm fresh items.

Fancy in the same way that a Victorian Bed and Breakfast is inside, the fact that a valet works the door seems wildly unnecessary for a restaurant in the middle of the woods; especially when the parking lot is feet from the door. This sort of excess is bound to raise prices and proves unnecessary at all times. The quiet atmosphere inside would have remained quiet and serene with the beautiful views of their gardens even if we had been sitting at wooden picnic tables.

Our waitress was adorable if not blessed with the most reliable memory. She immediately came over and asked if we were interested in anything to drink and happily brought over their extensive wine list. The water service was a bit too Chinese restaurant for me as even while pouring the wine during the meal, a young lady would occasionally say pardon me, make me hold the wine bottle in front of me, and grab my water glass to fill it up. I never wanted for water, that much is true. Back to the wine, we chose the Von Hovel Riesling; absolutely delicious. Just about as flawless of a wine as is possible to purchase and at a reasonable price.

For food we ordered something from each part of the menu. The first to arrive was our bread, although nothing fancy (clearly par baked), served warm with sweet cream butter and over a bamboo leaf, it hit the spot. The baked zucchini was next to arrive; filled with goat cheese and lemon crumbs it was certainly alright, nothing spectacular about it other than the 'broken olive' vinaigrette.

The main course I ordered was BBQ Pork Two Ways and I also had an opportunity to try the Eggplant Napoleon. In addition I ordered a Classic Caesar Salad which was not brought out with the meal and I had to ask them if it was coming. The BBQ pulled pork was in a wonderful sauce albeit shredded way more than necessary. The pork ribs were small and good, the same sauce though. The idea that they were really different types of pork was lost because of the use of the same sauce. If you are unaware, Eggplant Napoleon is just breaded cutlets of eggplant with ricotta, mozzarella, and tomato sauce. They managed to succeed in having there be absolutely no rough skin or excessive seeds, the two mortal sins of eggplant preparation; it was a success. The Caesar salad was good, the croutons a bit old potentially (or just overcooked).

Desert was two things, the almond creme brulee and the chocolate mousse. The creme brulee was a little too burnt and there were certainly way more almonds than necessary (it was literally covered in them). The chocolate mousse was absolutely delicious but not delicious in relation to the cost.

For atmosphere and general attitude of the folks there, this place was a winner. For food, it was pretty good although not spectacular. The value to cost issue though is pretty big when a half a zucchini costs $9 and a small serving of creme brulee $8. Would I go there again? Sure, I'd give it another go. Would this be a 'farm' that I go to regularly if I lived closer? Not so likely.

Metal Blade Reviews: Part Two (by Adam Peters)

I’m back. I haven’t listened to metal for a solid three weeks and I feel like I’m ready. My last effort will be redeemed. I will offer intelligent commentary on each of the albums. I will immediately turn to wit the instant I realize the previous statement is impossible. I will not let this music beat me. I will never again compare myself to Dennis Eckersley. I’m back. I’m ready.

Malefice: “Dawn of Reprisal”

I’m about to start my first listen of this one and I am very excited. The press release promises some severe face melting riffs. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had my face melted. Please don’t disappoint, Malefice. By the way, that name, Malefice, I think it means something bad. Not something bad as in something I’m not mentioning, it’s more like just something bad. I think. I suppose it comes from the word “malfeasance,” a term I first heard yelled at George Bailey by Mr. Potter in It’s a Wonderful Life. I knew then this was something clearly not good. But Malefice? What does this mean exactly? Is this even a word? My spell check doesn’t seem to think so. And really, how much do I trust thefreedictionary.com? I have no acceptable excuse for not owning the O.E.D. Let’s take thefreedictionary.com’s word for it and assume it is a word, a noun that means “an evil deed.” Is the band itself an evil deed? That seems unlikely. I assume they are just a bunch of guys playing music (the press release confirms this). Maybe if they killed kittens on stage this would be considered a malefice, but not the band. I just don’t know. This is highly advanced stuff. I think I need to give it up because it’s blowing my mind and my face hasn’t even started melting yet.

Now that I’ve finally turned the album on I think I get it. I was missing the entire crux of the band’s thinly-veiled musical thesis on the postmodern identity crises of existential linguistics and postmodern death metal theory. There is no meaning to the name of the band—think Camus and Absurdism—yet the album itself is a clear artistic representation of death metal as a whole. It’s not the band that is something bad or an evil deed; it’s the music. I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t see this right away. The meaning of the name is obvious to me now. These are very talented musicians, yet they play metal that completely lacks irony. They are stuck. See Kierkegaard and Despair. This is highly advanced stuff. My face is definitely melting.

Trigger the Bloodshed: “The Great Depression”

Finally. This is what I’ve been waiting for: a politically dense death metal interpretation of a major period in American history. I just wonder why it’s taken me so long to find it. This is one band I will not fault for indecipherable screaming vocals. And seeing as how I can’t understand any of the lyrics, I’ll just have to rely on what I consider a 95%+ accurate interpretation of this album. First of all, Black Tuesday was a real drag. Lots of people were out of work and this was bad. People were pissed. Some of these pissed people in Europe turned to a sociopath named Hitler for answers. This would end up being very bad. F.D.R. kicked some ass and everything eventually got better. This was good. This is a great band. I can’t wait for their follow-up on the fall of the Ming Dynasty.

Molotov Solution: “The Harbinger”

I don’t what the odds are, but I again have stumbled on an album with, according to the press release, “a strong politically driven message.” And again, I can’t understand a word of it. Not to be discouraged; my guess is as good as yours.

Gasoline + glass bottle + cloth wick + fire, no? Far from it. I won’t lie; I’ve been looking on Wikipedia. It’s only solidified my theory, though. This band’s focus is historical allegory. The shredding has to be Stalin, the bass his protégé Vyacheslav Molotov, and the screaming most definitely Hitler. The double bass is the bombing of Finland. It’s no coincidence that Molotov bore a striking resemblance to Teddy Roosevelt. Need I say more?

Goatwhore: “Carving Out the Eyes of God”

Now that’s what I call a band name. They allegedly (Allegedly! I wasn’t wrong after all. Metal Blade has at least one Intro to Journalism alumnus on staff. Touché.) got their name from an encounter with a stripper. But they’re from the South, so we’ll leave it at that.

Damn. I somehow knew this would happen. Part of me likes this album. Not “likes” like “will listen to again,” more like “likes” like “can appreciate talent of musicians no matter how much I can’t stand what I’m listening to.” I’m suddenly overcome with guilt. I’m no real music critic, that’s clear. But in the interest of full disclosure: I used to play in a band. Shocker, I know. Why would a failed musician be so cynical about bands more successful than his ever was? And worse: write about it? It’s too painful. I can do no more tonight. This band gets a pass.

Job For A Cowboy: “Ruination”

I am so glad I slept on that last thought. This band sucks.

Astra: “The Weirding”

“The Weirding?” Are they serious? Do they mean “joining yearbook committee to get out of gym class?” I should probably at least start listening to these albums before I write about them.

Prog Death Metal! Yes! I have no idea why this makes me so happy. It’s just that it’s been seven minutes with no screaming and I hear more King Crimson than Genesis, even a little Mars Volta. I don’t know what this band is doing on this label, but I think I need to listen to the whole album before I write any more.

I feel very weird. I think I may be experiencing a weirding. The only thing this band has in common with its labelmates is that they probably once were heavily into Black Sabbath. Nothing wrong with that. I feel like I’m at a Seder with Mel Gibson. Something isn’t right. This band is pretty good.

If I Could Have Any One Talent It Would Be... (Prompt #15)

...something musical. For years I have wanted to play an instrument, I absolutely adore music as anyone who knows anything about me would already know. I was forced to play the trumpet and viola when I was younger and although that didn't ruin me to music, it certainly made me a bit angry when it came to the idea of lessons. I picked up the bass in high school and I just was not willing to put forth the effort into learning it. About four years ago I purchased a pretty sweet black acoustic guitar and until last Fall I had never even played it.

Last Fall I decided to write a few songs for my classroom about different literary elements (symbolism, metaphor, simile, truth/fiction). The songs certainly were entertaining and the students got a kick out of the fact that I was recording music. When I asked them to be honest though they said it was cool that I tried but there were only two students who said they'd ever listen to it again.

I have great ideas for lyrics all the time (and maybe some of them are stolen ideas from Aes songs or from movies) and I have no real way to get them on paper, which is a shame. I mean I guess I could start doing songwriting for other folks; who in the world is going to pay me for the type of asinine things I come up with? In a perfect world, nobody. It's fun though. Either way, it would be neat to magically have the ability to pick up a guitar and play and song, or the motivation to pick up a guitar and learn how to play. Currently, I have neither.

The Best Smell In The World Is... (Prompt # 14)

...a clean rivers breeze on a sunny day in Western Vermont. Now, that may be a biased answer because it falls on the heels of spending one of the most beautiful afternoons possible floating down the Battenkill River in Vermont. When you are moving swiftly downstream, can close your eyes, listen to the wind on the leaves and the occasional bird in the trees, everything smells more intensely. And when the river is a clean one, with fast moving water, and you are in the midst of summer, it is the most beautiful smell in the world. Something about silence makes things smell more beautifully (or terribly if it is a bad smell). Maybe it's the fact that it's unnecessary to utilize other senses - one can focus entirely on the smell.

Bathory was right that there are other beautiful smells. There isn't one that brings a smile to my face with the same ease as truly fresh air. It is a beautiful thing and there are fewer and fewer places we can do that which really is a shame.

Some of the worst smells in the world? Water shoes after canoeing and not washing them once in over a year. Although it isn't the shoes fault, it's the mildew in the shoe and clearly it is my fault. That and old fifteen passenger vans, unwashed drunk people, and major highways. Not everything can be roses and puppies.

Cool is... (Prompt #13)

...so many things that you might not expect. Cool is always standing up for what you know is right even when it really stinks to; even when you know that you aren't going to be considered 'cool' by the masses (the masses have no idea what cool is by the way). Cool is looking at the world with open eyes, refusing to judge, and arguing with yourself whenever you find yourself doing just that. Cool is having open ears and using them. Listening to other people, their thoughts, opinions, and feelings, that's cool. So is knowing about music and movies and art. Cool is being willing to experience new things. Cool is knowing what makes you you, and not letting anyone tell you that you need to do something differently to make you 'cooler'. Cool is also being able to take constructive criticism about those things that even cool people know they need to work on. Cool is never thinking that you've reached a pinnacle of cool and you are all done, cool is constantly trying to be cooler.

Cool is a bit too flimsy a word to describe what I consider cool but it will have to do in this case because that was the prompt. Cool is taking important things seriously and not taking yourself too seriously. Am I cool? I got a lot of work left to do...

If I Were A Door-To-Door Salesman I Would Sell... (Prompt #12)

...hope. Not false hope the way that folks usually sell hope. Not the sort where I say, 'If you do _____ (*usually for me) then in return you will get _____.' I'm talking the sort of hope where I'd come into your house, sit down with you and talk to you about your life. I might need an hour, I might need a few days. I'd then show you the hope that you might not be able to see without someone elses help. I would just try to help you open your eyes to the things in life that you value and try to show you how much hope already exists. The most common quote surfacing in my life right now is an old Shakespeare one along the lines of, 'Every man can master a misery that is not his own.' I may not have mastered figuring out where all of my hope lies yet I have a knack for figuring out where others' is.

I would expect no payment for my sale, merely a smile, a thank you if you deem it necessary. And most important, I would hope that you too would become a bit of a salesmen/woman yourself and start giving some hope away to those folks who you notice need it - and there are a lot of us.

If I Were A Food I Would Be... (Prompt #11)

...delicious.

Had I been asked this question six months ago my answer would have been ribs, no doubt about it. Not because I ate them so often but because I enjoyed them so much. If it was based on what I ate so much of then I would be chicken because I was eating that one, two, or sometimes even three meals a day.

I might say fake ribs these days, or curlies (seasoned curly fries) because that pair makes for my current favorite meal. I'm not sure if this question is asking me to choose something based on personal taste preferences so I'm going to go ahead and answer it another way.

If I were a food I would likely be a condiment, and it would be ketchup. I would be ketchup because I have learned how to be extremely versatile, just as ketchup is. I can adapt my behavior to fit almost any situation properly (although I still am incapable of adapting to fit in with frat boys - thank God). Ketchup is good on burgers, fries, carrots, eggs, mozzarella sticks, even toast goes well with ketchup. I may not go as well with certain situations either in my mind or in reality but I certainly am capable of being that versatile. That being said, I find myself rarely using ketchup anymore because I don't eat meat anymore. Hopefully that isn't indicative of how other folks view me though as that would be rough. I'll just go on the assumption that I'm still that useful and versatile guy.

If I Were Offered The Job Of President, I Would Take It Because... (Prompt #10)

...I think I would do a decent enough job in some aspects. Sure, I'm grossly under qualified and I'm not the most skilled mediator or collaborator. I would probably offend other folks and I would make a scene now and then. I know what I wouldn't do though. I wouldn't ignore what folks wanted. Even if I wanted something different I would respect the fact that I am merely a representative of this great country and that it isn't about me, it is about the country. I'm not a parent to everyone, it's not a matter of me doing what I think is best for them (which some Presidents seem to think is their job) and screw what they want. It's a matter of being able to make what they want happen, or at the very least work through with them why I do not believe what they want makes sense in the long run.

I clearly would enjoy the idea of inviting famous musicians to my house for dinner, and since it seems like that's alright now because we have President's that do it, it really isn't. I hate the idea abusing power for personal gain. I think that thought process would really hinder a great deal of things that I wanted to do personally but would make me a much more respected leader. This past Fall people talked about wanting a 'man of the people' and that's just silly. They don't really want someone who can sit down and BS about football or anything else (sorry McCain), otherwise you wouldn't have these uber-qualified fancy-pants folks running for office pretending they were of the people.

Would I take it? Yes. Would I be good at it? Probably not very. Would I be able to do some great things and make some great changes in the world. No doubt. Would I succumb to inviting musicians to my house for jam sessions, you know it. Will it ever happen? Nope.

If I Could Cure Any Disease It Would Be... (Prompt #9)

...cancer? This is not a simple question to answer! There are so many different diseases that cause so much sadness in the world. I immediately thought of AIDS and then I got to thinking how in a lot of cases, that is avoidable by certain behaviors (obviously there are exceptions such as children being born with it, blood transfusions, etc.). Next thought was cancer. Sure, there are certain types of cancer's caused by smoking, sun, and other things, but most cancers are not caused by any behavior, they just occur naturally. I think that everyone has probably known someone, or known of someone who had cancer.

My question initially is too open ended. I mean, if I could cure a whole type of disease it would be cancers, but what if I could only cure one type of cancer? Maybe then I would have to think about heart disease, which is the number one cause of death in the United States. Again though, much of that comes from choices that people make more than anything else.

Those diseases that you are born with or acquire over time, that you have no choice in the matter might be the ones I would pick. Sickle cell anemia, hemophilia, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, those are diseases that really change how people have to live and have nothing to do with how they had been living.

Wow, that's a tough question.