If, as Shakespeare bade Polonius to prattle, brevity is the soul of wit, then I maintain that it is my rapier wit—not my mammoth sloth—that has inspired me to complete these writing prompts in brief. I am not Hemingway (obviously—he died in 1961), so there will be few six-word revelations here, but I shall endeavor to deliver complete thoughts in three sentences or fewer. Questions are courtesy of the summer writing prompts that Mr. Fersch was unable to cover before he ran out of summertime.
36. This world needs less…misunderstanding.
37. If I could have invented any one product it would be…toast…because…it’s simple, tasty, portable, and ubiquitous—an achievement to feel proud of.
38. If I could move anywhere in the country it would be…I’m not really sure yet…because…if I know where I wanted to be, I’d already be there.
39. The worst TV show ever is…most of them.
40. If my life had a motto it’d be…“passively pursuing happiness.” C’est la vie.
41. When I daydream, I daydream about…meaningful memories that I want to keep present.
42. The funniest thing I’ve ever done is…convince people that I know what I’m doing. No, really, I do. I swear.
43. The last dream I remember is…one I’m still trying to forget.
44. In twenty years, America will be…older, but probably not wiser.
45. If I could create one law it would be…“Think.”
46. If wishes and buts were candy and nuts…fruitless desires and useless excuses would be a lot tastier.
47. My favorite sonnet is ________, because… Edna Saint Vincent Millay was a badass and a good sonneteer.
48. I would like to convince my parents that…they did a better job than they realize with the whole parenting thing, given the unreasonable parameters of that job.
49. Why didn’t I…just ask instead of trying to guess?
50. If I could only eat one type of food for the rest of my life it would be…fruit, because it tastes like candy, yet the FDA says it’s good for me.
51. The worst time I’ve ever had was…living somewhere I didn’t want to be, doing something I didn’t want to do, surrounded by people I didn’t want to be around: a pretty reliable recipe for disaster.
52. What color represents you? Why? A muddy blue-green, because that’s color I imagine you’d get if you put the entire world into a blender. That’s basically what goes on inside my brain.
53. I think that MySpace is…an unforgivably unattractive interface.
54. Epping should have a…basic household and auto maintenance and repair…Club, because…knowing how to do that stuff is incredibly useful.
55. I believe that animals are…much more logical and goal-oriented than humans.
56. The biggest risk I’ve ever taken is…facing the truth. It’s turned out to be less terrible in the long run than trying to run away or hide from it.
57. I’m most creative...when I know my audience. The point of creation is to give life to something beyond yourself and the point of doing that is to share it.
58. Write a poem.
A penny for your thoughts,
a nickel for your soul.
Why should I buy a part of you
when I could have the whole?
59. Go interview someone about a topic of your choice and transcribe it here.
Me: Hey tree, what’s the meaning of life?
Tree: <
Me: Oh.
60. What is your most valued possession and why? My body, because it makes me possible.
61. What are you optimistic about? I’m optimistic about people’s capacities for change. What are you pessimistic about? I’m pessimistic about people’s limited capacities for change.
62. What do you think the world needs now? “Love, sweet love.”
63. What makes a good friend? A good friend accepts your worst and expects your best.
64. What do you consider to be beautiful? Beauty is terrestrial grace: “There is a crack in everything—that’s how the light gets in.” (-Leonard Cohen)
65. How do you feel on the first day of school? I feel like an actor auditioning for the part of myself.
66. How do you feel about your appearance? Why? Pretty indifferent, because, for the most part, it’s merely the lot I drew in the genetic lottery. Generally speaking, people appear most attractive when they’re happy with themselves.
67. The last time I cried was…fairly recently…because…we’re all a little bit like Icarus: sea-bound creatures born with a burning to desire to fly to the sun.
68. When I have a problem I talk to…nobody…because…I fear the risks of being vulnerable to others more than the risks of relying on my own limited resources. I’m not advocating that approach, but I know how I am.
69. I used to think…that if I ran fast enough, I would be able to move so quickly that people wouldn’t be able to see me. I still believe I could probably do some impossible things if I tried hard enough and the rest of the world was willing to indulge me.