Ah restaurants and bakeries, two of my favorite places in the world. That is, when they are worth it. Alas, two thirds of what I am about to write about is more abominable than any snowman, more abhorrent than any American Psycho on set, more atrocious than most food related atrocities.
Let's start with the good.
Duston's Bakery - 153 PORTLAND AVE DOVER, NH 03820-3579 603.742.2506 Web Site
This place is adorable. Not on the outside, outside it looks like it will be pretty shoddy but stepping inside is like going into someones living room (well, more like someones pantry and they are selling everything there). It's well designed, comfortable yet roomy, a good amount of seating and just about everything you'd need at a convenience store plus a bakery! The service is stellar, everyone seems to know everyone and no one could be happier to be there. Even to a newbie like myself in town, everyone is polite, friendly, and chipper even when I show up at 6 am asking fro a dozen donuts. The donut selection changes but they are really quite delicious (especially the chocolate frosted with sprinkles) and the white chocolate and milk chocolate chip cookie is terrific. Unfortunately they don't make the bread sold there (which is a shame because if the bakery items are any indication it would be tremendous). Prices are affordable (.85 for a large donut still? I'm there) and I would go here every single day for bakery items if it seemed a little healthier.
Now on to the less desirable and since we're talking about bakeries let's talk about the competition...
Cafe on the Corner - 478 Central Ave Dover, NH 03820 603.749.4711
A prime case of misnaming a business as this should be called Cafe on the Verge. After eating breakfast from here I was literally on the verge of vomiting. Walking in it seemed like a nice enough place (although what sort of self respecting coffee shop has leather couches?) There wasn't a large line and so it was simple to order a coffee cake and a bagel sandwich with some water. There were two young ladies working there and an older man (who seemed to be the manager). One lady took the order and the other then went ahead and got it. For the coffee cake this did not work as they gave me a different kind than I ordered. It would have been worthwhile complaining but the one who got the food dropped it on the counter and then stormed away to get another order. Our food was ready in just a couple minutes and we paid and sat down.
Folks, if you are going to charge money for food it had better not a) be something you could easily make at home and b) suck. Both of ours could easily have been made at home and both of ours sucked. My coffee cake was solid, I'm talking at least a week old solid. Flavorless mounds of sugar covered the top and it literally made me ill within minutes of finishing the half I could stomach. The bagel sandwich was made on a Lender's bagel (which they didn't even try to hide - how would you react if you went to a pizza place and they served you Elio's pizza?) It was a garden burger basically, only not even a homemade one (let alone a good brand). Don't even get me started on the fact that the trash can and plate collection area are on opposite sides of the main entrance of the place, causing a huge traffic jam there...
These things all make this a terrible bakery but there is something even worse. The staff was horrible. I'm talking incompetent, rude, and in general just unacceptable. A woman a few people behind us had the GALL to say that she would like someone working there to use a napkin to pick up her bagel since they had just been handling money (common sense folks, money is gross, food shouldn't be, use gloves or napkins) and the employee response? She scoffed. I don't like vulgarities so I won't share the word I thought about her when she did this but it wasn't anything nice. And then when the woman paid and walked away she had the nerve to joke about her to the other employee and the manager IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS.
Honestly the shittiest bakery I have ever been to. I'm unimpressed with your Obama photos on the wall. I only feel bad because he probably had to act like he enjoyed your food so that you would vote for him. Shoulda gone to Duston's...
Now, if we're talking poor service, Cafe on the Corner is the winner. We're talking about poor food then we need to take a short drive to Rollinsford, NH.
Alexander's Italian Restaurant - 489 Portland Ave Rollinsford, NH 03869 603.742.2650
Wow, where to start. I guess from the beginning. I was excited to go to Alexander's because it is one of the few restaurants in the South Berwick area plus I happen to love Italian food. It looks relatively adorable from the outside but that all changes the moment you walk in the door. The parking lot was pretty packed but as we walked up to the hostess we noticed there were still many seats left open. She told us there would be a fifteen minute wait and sent us to the dungeon bar where I swear if we had stayed for an additional fifteen minutes I would have most definitely been rufied. The bartender was young (which isn't bad to begin with) but he didn't know how to make the drinks we ordered (even with the help of a bartender's manual), and he had the personality of a dead moth. One whisky sour and Guinness later we were brought up to the dining room. Appointed in the most ugly fashion with bad artwork, chandeliers, fake plants and more, I have seen few gaudier and less appealing restaurants in my life, and this is before the food even arrived!
The waitress came and took our order for drinks and appetizers and then proceeded to bring over bread. Sysco (the giant food manufacturing company) makes good quality cafeteria food, food that should be served to huge numbers of people to keep costs down. Not food that should be served in fancy restaurants. So when the waitress brought over a cold roll of Sysco bread to us with butter in packs we knew it was off to a bad start. The bread wasn't even freshly baked let alone homemade, let alone good.
For our appetizer we ordered the breaded zucchini slices. They came with a blue cheese sauce and when I asked for a little marinara for the side she said it would cost a dollar extra. For a tiny cup of sauce. When they arrived about ten minutes later they were still hot from the fryolater. They were average at best and the sauces did little to improve them. Only the top layer was crispy and the rest were soggy and oily.
Still quite hungry our main courses arrived. We tried the eggplant Parmesan and the pasta carbonara. I requested that the meat be taken out of the carbonara and they obliged yet added onions in their place apparently as there was a plethora of them in the dish. A frozen pasta dish from the frozen foods isle at the grocery store would have been just at tasty. The eggplant was covered in more skin than a Shar Pei and there were huge chunks of tomato in the sauce which did little for the overall taste. Average at best, finished half, couldn't bear to eat the leftovers though - not a good sign.
Now, I'm not saying it ruined my birthday (here) but if it had been my birthday, it probably would have been ruined (aside from my stellar company). Not sure how or why this place is still in business but there's no accounting for taste!
