Summer Is... (Prompt # 18)

...so delightful, rain or sun! I hear folks all the time whining about the weather this summer. I get it, you can't sit at the beach; how boring is that anyway!? I'm not saying you need to get out and do something every day, there is no reason to act as if doing so would be terrible though. Over the last seven days I canoed a little over eighty miles. Did it rain? You better believe it. Was it freezing cold at times? Only when I was too much of a fool to dress properly. It was also an absolutely amazing time and I wouldn't trade a moment of it for anything. Days of rain in a canoe makes for a much stronger appreciation of the sun when it does shine through.

Summer weather is here finally yet I really want to stress how much that really doesn't matter. It's possible to hike in the rain. Canoeing in the rain is beautiful. Barbecue in the rain (that's why they have covers I believe), play in the puddles. Just enjoy the weather for what it is.

Enjoy the summer for what it is; warmer weather (even if it is wet this year), longer days, smiling faces (if folks would just accept life for what it is and try to make the best of it!). Summer is here and I'm enjoying it an awful lot.

High School Was... (Prompt #17)

...absurd in every possible way. It blows my mind to look back and see what sort of person I was in high school. Many of the good things were there but they were most definitely under a heap of teenage angst which certainly greatly affected my high school years. When I hear adults talk about high school being the best years of their lives I shudder at the thought that anyone could consider high school to be the best years of their life. I had a terrific time in high school regularly, even when things were a mess there was more joy than I was willing to admit at the time. Best time of my life? Thank God it wasn't.

Every day that I live and grow a bit as a human being is a better day than all of high school put together. If I wasn't progressing as a human being, trying to constantly better myself (and making mistakes along the way), what would be the point of going on. There's a push these days to share sentiments about how life isn't about the past or the future, it's about the now and nothing could be more correct and powerful. The second we stop looking towards the future as if it is something better than the present, the moment we look at the now as the best moment of our lives, only then will we really be living.

Tim McGraw had a huge song a few years back, "Live Like You Were Dying". I love the song and I loathe the song. I get it, everyone should live like it was their last day. I loathe how folks choose to interpret it; live as if tomorrow doesn't matter. What it means to me is that today is all that matters so if today was your last day were you as helpful and kind as you could have been, as forgiving and forgetting, as compassionate and caring.

Well, were you?

If I Could Give Myself Any One Nickname It Would Be... (Prompt #16)

...something that would implore everyone to automatically want to fear and respect me, love and cherish me, and need to get to know me while being far too afraid to approach me;

El Nino.

Wait, is that already a joke that someone made? I feel like it is familiar, maybe from SNL? If it is that is a shame because SNL hasn't been funny in years (thanks Horation Sanz, et. al.) It's a lot harder to come up with a funny nickname for yourself than for someone else. While working years ago I gave my good friend Matt a nickname; LP (short for Lamp Post) although these days I just call him post. Why did he get the nickname? We picked arbitrary items that were around since we were the only two who hadn't yet acquired nicknames. What was mine? Steaky. Well, I guess that's as good as any, right?

Steaky.

I don't imagine anyone will love, hate, or feel much of anything about that one. At least my nickname isn't Alignment Guy, Leprechaun, or Waste Water...

Interview with RyMo (Ryan Moran), drummer for Slightly Stoopid

Alright, how did a band that isn’t on a major label, even one with as large a fan base as yours, manage to pull off touring with Snoop Dog and Stephen Marley?

We've been touring a ton over the years and it's really paying off. These days having a major label isn't necessarily going to get your music heard; you have to go out and work for it. The industry has changed dramatically over the last decade, and the grass roots way of touring and selling tickets is the only way up. I feel like the dues paid have rewarded us with a tour like this. Snoop, Stephen and Mickey Avalon; toooo fun.

What advice would you give to bands coming up having a hard time succeeding as musicians?

The advice I would give any band is simple, hard work and sacrifice pays off. It takes a long time to build something like this, and we've all had to make sacrifices to ourselves and those around us to get where we are. To have longevity in the music business, you need to have a strong foundation of loyal fans that dig what you do and how you do it.

Everyone who knows anything about you knows that you were originally signed by Bradley Nowell (of Sublime) for Skunk Records. How did his band, and Bradley as a person, influence you and your music?

Yes it's true that Brad Nowell signed the band to his 'new' label (at the time) Skunk Records. He and Miguel Hapboldt created Skunk to help up and coming bands get their music made. His influence is obvious in the musical legacy he left behind. Turn on the radio and chances are you'll hear some sublime within minutes. He was a good friend and mentor to Miles and Kyle.

Miles said in an interview that with Skratch Magazine that “everything we do revolves around” weed. In an interview in Real Skate, an unidentified member of the band was quoted as saying, “I don't do drugs. I don't consider weed or beer as drugs”. I don’t wanna argue semantics here but they are drugs, by definition. How do you justify glorification of things that do cause lots of people lots of problems? Do you not have any concerns about how excessive marijuana use affects people who don’t also happen to be talented musicians on tour with Snoop Dogg?

Haha. Yes it's true that drugs and alcohol can cause problems. I think all good things in moderation are fun. We aren't encouraging people to make poor decisions. We are living a lifestyle that works for us...and many, many others.

How is the record label working out so far? Who are you excited about?

The label is alive and well. We are excited about it and helping younger bands succeed. The Expendables are doing really well. They are on tour with 311 and Ziggy Marley right now.

Within ten years Slightly Stoopid will…

In ten years Slightly Stoopid will be touring tons, surfing often and living the dream.

Clay Hill Farm Restaurant Review

220 Clay Hill Rd, York, ME‎ - (207) 361-2272‎ www.clayhillfarm.com

Small farm restaurants are not as easy to find as one might think (or hope) in an area such as southern Maine or eastern NH. There is a bed and breakfast or 'country inn' on every other corner and almost no eating equivalent within miles. Although substantially fancier than many farms I've ever seen, Clay Hill definitely is a restaurant based around *some* farm fresh items.

Fancy in the same way that a Victorian Bed and Breakfast is inside, the fact that a valet works the door seems wildly unnecessary for a restaurant in the middle of the woods; especially when the parking lot is feet from the door. This sort of excess is bound to raise prices and proves unnecessary at all times. The quiet atmosphere inside would have remained quiet and serene with the beautiful views of their gardens even if we had been sitting at wooden picnic tables.

Our waitress was adorable if not blessed with the most reliable memory. She immediately came over and asked if we were interested in anything to drink and happily brought over their extensive wine list. The water service was a bit too Chinese restaurant for me as even while pouring the wine during the meal, a young lady would occasionally say pardon me, make me hold the wine bottle in front of me, and grab my water glass to fill it up. I never wanted for water, that much is true. Back to the wine, we chose the Von Hovel Riesling; absolutely delicious. Just about as flawless of a wine as is possible to purchase and at a reasonable price.

For food we ordered something from each part of the menu. The first to arrive was our bread, although nothing fancy (clearly par baked), served warm with sweet cream butter and over a bamboo leaf, it hit the spot. The baked zucchini was next to arrive; filled with goat cheese and lemon crumbs it was certainly alright, nothing spectacular about it other than the 'broken olive' vinaigrette.

The main course I ordered was BBQ Pork Two Ways and I also had an opportunity to try the Eggplant Napoleon. In addition I ordered a Classic Caesar Salad which was not brought out with the meal and I had to ask them if it was coming. The BBQ pulled pork was in a wonderful sauce albeit shredded way more than necessary. The pork ribs were small and good, the same sauce though. The idea that they were really different types of pork was lost because of the use of the same sauce. If you are unaware, Eggplant Napoleon is just breaded cutlets of eggplant with ricotta, mozzarella, and tomato sauce. They managed to succeed in having there be absolutely no rough skin or excessive seeds, the two mortal sins of eggplant preparation; it was a success. The Caesar salad was good, the croutons a bit old potentially (or just overcooked).

Desert was two things, the almond creme brulee and the chocolate mousse. The creme brulee was a little too burnt and there were certainly way more almonds than necessary (it was literally covered in them). The chocolate mousse was absolutely delicious but not delicious in relation to the cost.

For atmosphere and general attitude of the folks there, this place was a winner. For food, it was pretty good although not spectacular. The value to cost issue though is pretty big when a half a zucchini costs $9 and a small serving of creme brulee $8. Would I go there again? Sure, I'd give it another go. Would this be a 'farm' that I go to regularly if I lived closer? Not so likely.

Metal Blade Reviews: Part Two (by Adam Peters)

I’m back. I haven’t listened to metal for a solid three weeks and I feel like I’m ready. My last effort will be redeemed. I will offer intelligent commentary on each of the albums. I will immediately turn to wit the instant I realize the previous statement is impossible. I will not let this music beat me. I will never again compare myself to Dennis Eckersley. I’m back. I’m ready.

Malefice: “Dawn of Reprisal”

I’m about to start my first listen of this one and I am very excited. The press release promises some severe face melting riffs. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had my face melted. Please don’t disappoint, Malefice. By the way, that name, Malefice, I think it means something bad. Not something bad as in something I’m not mentioning, it’s more like just something bad. I think. I suppose it comes from the word “malfeasance,” a term I first heard yelled at George Bailey by Mr. Potter in It’s a Wonderful Life. I knew then this was something clearly not good. But Malefice? What does this mean exactly? Is this even a word? My spell check doesn’t seem to think so. And really, how much do I trust thefreedictionary.com? I have no acceptable excuse for not owning the O.E.D. Let’s take thefreedictionary.com’s word for it and assume it is a word, a noun that means “an evil deed.” Is the band itself an evil deed? That seems unlikely. I assume they are just a bunch of guys playing music (the press release confirms this). Maybe if they killed kittens on stage this would be considered a malefice, but not the band. I just don’t know. This is highly advanced stuff. I think I need to give it up because it’s blowing my mind and my face hasn’t even started melting yet.

Now that I’ve finally turned the album on I think I get it. I was missing the entire crux of the band’s thinly-veiled musical thesis on the postmodern identity crises of existential linguistics and postmodern death metal theory. There is no meaning to the name of the band—think Camus and Absurdism—yet the album itself is a clear artistic representation of death metal as a whole. It’s not the band that is something bad or an evil deed; it’s the music. I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t see this right away. The meaning of the name is obvious to me now. These are very talented musicians, yet they play metal that completely lacks irony. They are stuck. See Kierkegaard and Despair. This is highly advanced stuff. My face is definitely melting.

Trigger the Bloodshed: “The Great Depression”

Finally. This is what I’ve been waiting for: a politically dense death metal interpretation of a major period in American history. I just wonder why it’s taken me so long to find it. This is one band I will not fault for indecipherable screaming vocals. And seeing as how I can’t understand any of the lyrics, I’ll just have to rely on what I consider a 95%+ accurate interpretation of this album. First of all, Black Tuesday was a real drag. Lots of people were out of work and this was bad. People were pissed. Some of these pissed people in Europe turned to a sociopath named Hitler for answers. This would end up being very bad. F.D.R. kicked some ass and everything eventually got better. This was good. This is a great band. I can’t wait for their follow-up on the fall of the Ming Dynasty.

Molotov Solution: “The Harbinger”

I don’t what the odds are, but I again have stumbled on an album with, according to the press release, “a strong politically driven message.” And again, I can’t understand a word of it. Not to be discouraged; my guess is as good as yours.

Gasoline + glass bottle + cloth wick + fire, no? Far from it. I won’t lie; I’ve been looking on Wikipedia. It’s only solidified my theory, though. This band’s focus is historical allegory. The shredding has to be Stalin, the bass his protégé Vyacheslav Molotov, and the screaming most definitely Hitler. The double bass is the bombing of Finland. It’s no coincidence that Molotov bore a striking resemblance to Teddy Roosevelt. Need I say more?

Goatwhore: “Carving Out the Eyes of God”

Now that’s what I call a band name. They allegedly (Allegedly! I wasn’t wrong after all. Metal Blade has at least one Intro to Journalism alumnus on staff. Touché.) got their name from an encounter with a stripper. But they’re from the South, so we’ll leave it at that.

Damn. I somehow knew this would happen. Part of me likes this album. Not “likes” like “will listen to again,” more like “likes” like “can appreciate talent of musicians no matter how much I can’t stand what I’m listening to.” I’m suddenly overcome with guilt. I’m no real music critic, that’s clear. But in the interest of full disclosure: I used to play in a band. Shocker, I know. Why would a failed musician be so cynical about bands more successful than his ever was? And worse: write about it? It’s too painful. I can do no more tonight. This band gets a pass.

Job For A Cowboy: “Ruination”

I am so glad I slept on that last thought. This band sucks.

Astra: “The Weirding”

“The Weirding?” Are they serious? Do they mean “joining yearbook committee to get out of gym class?” I should probably at least start listening to these albums before I write about them.

Prog Death Metal! Yes! I have no idea why this makes me so happy. It’s just that it’s been seven minutes with no screaming and I hear more King Crimson than Genesis, even a little Mars Volta. I don’t know what this band is doing on this label, but I think I need to listen to the whole album before I write any more.

I feel very weird. I think I may be experiencing a weirding. The only thing this band has in common with its labelmates is that they probably once were heavily into Black Sabbath. Nothing wrong with that. I feel like I’m at a Seder with Mel Gibson. Something isn’t right. This band is pretty good.

If I Could Have Any One Talent It Would Be... (Prompt #15)

...something musical. For years I have wanted to play an instrument, I absolutely adore music as anyone who knows anything about me would already know. I was forced to play the trumpet and viola when I was younger and although that didn't ruin me to music, it certainly made me a bit angry when it came to the idea of lessons. I picked up the bass in high school and I just was not willing to put forth the effort into learning it. About four years ago I purchased a pretty sweet black acoustic guitar and until last Fall I had never even played it.

Last Fall I decided to write a few songs for my classroom about different literary elements (symbolism, metaphor, simile, truth/fiction). The songs certainly were entertaining and the students got a kick out of the fact that I was recording music. When I asked them to be honest though they said it was cool that I tried but there were only two students who said they'd ever listen to it again.

I have great ideas for lyrics all the time (and maybe some of them are stolen ideas from Aes songs or from movies) and I have no real way to get them on paper, which is a shame. I mean I guess I could start doing songwriting for other folks; who in the world is going to pay me for the type of asinine things I come up with? In a perfect world, nobody. It's fun though. Either way, it would be neat to magically have the ability to pick up a guitar and play and song, or the motivation to pick up a guitar and learn how to play. Currently, I have neither.

The Best Smell In The World Is... (Prompt # 14)

...a clean rivers breeze on a sunny day in Western Vermont. Now, that may be a biased answer because it falls on the heels of spending one of the most beautiful afternoons possible floating down the Battenkill River in Vermont. When you are moving swiftly downstream, can close your eyes, listen to the wind on the leaves and the occasional bird in the trees, everything smells more intensely. And when the river is a clean one, with fast moving water, and you are in the midst of summer, it is the most beautiful smell in the world. Something about silence makes things smell more beautifully (or terribly if it is a bad smell). Maybe it's the fact that it's unnecessary to utilize other senses - one can focus entirely on the smell.

Bathory was right that there are other beautiful smells. There isn't one that brings a smile to my face with the same ease as truly fresh air. It is a beautiful thing and there are fewer and fewer places we can do that which really is a shame.

Some of the worst smells in the world? Water shoes after canoeing and not washing them once in over a year. Although it isn't the shoes fault, it's the mildew in the shoe and clearly it is my fault. That and old fifteen passenger vans, unwashed drunk people, and major highways. Not everything can be roses and puppies.

Cool is... (Prompt #13)

...so many things that you might not expect. Cool is always standing up for what you know is right even when it really stinks to; even when you know that you aren't going to be considered 'cool' by the masses (the masses have no idea what cool is by the way). Cool is looking at the world with open eyes, refusing to judge, and arguing with yourself whenever you find yourself doing just that. Cool is having open ears and using them. Listening to other people, their thoughts, opinions, and feelings, that's cool. So is knowing about music and movies and art. Cool is being willing to experience new things. Cool is knowing what makes you you, and not letting anyone tell you that you need to do something differently to make you 'cooler'. Cool is also being able to take constructive criticism about those things that even cool people know they need to work on. Cool is never thinking that you've reached a pinnacle of cool and you are all done, cool is constantly trying to be cooler.

Cool is a bit too flimsy a word to describe what I consider cool but it will have to do in this case because that was the prompt. Cool is taking important things seriously and not taking yourself too seriously. Am I cool? I got a lot of work left to do...

If I Were A Door-To-Door Salesman I Would Sell... (Prompt #12)

...hope. Not false hope the way that folks usually sell hope. Not the sort where I say, 'If you do _____ (*usually for me) then in return you will get _____.' I'm talking the sort of hope where I'd come into your house, sit down with you and talk to you about your life. I might need an hour, I might need a few days. I'd then show you the hope that you might not be able to see without someone elses help. I would just try to help you open your eyes to the things in life that you value and try to show you how much hope already exists. The most common quote surfacing in my life right now is an old Shakespeare one along the lines of, 'Every man can master a misery that is not his own.' I may not have mastered figuring out where all of my hope lies yet I have a knack for figuring out where others' is.

I would expect no payment for my sale, merely a smile, a thank you if you deem it necessary. And most important, I would hope that you too would become a bit of a salesmen/woman yourself and start giving some hope away to those folks who you notice need it - and there are a lot of us.

If I Were A Food I Would Be... (Prompt #11)

...delicious.

Had I been asked this question six months ago my answer would have been ribs, no doubt about it. Not because I ate them so often but because I enjoyed them so much. If it was based on what I ate so much of then I would be chicken because I was eating that one, two, or sometimes even three meals a day.

I might say fake ribs these days, or curlies (seasoned curly fries) because that pair makes for my current favorite meal. I'm not sure if this question is asking me to choose something based on personal taste preferences so I'm going to go ahead and answer it another way.

If I were a food I would likely be a condiment, and it would be ketchup. I would be ketchup because I have learned how to be extremely versatile, just as ketchup is. I can adapt my behavior to fit almost any situation properly (although I still am incapable of adapting to fit in with frat boys - thank God). Ketchup is good on burgers, fries, carrots, eggs, mozzarella sticks, even toast goes well with ketchup. I may not go as well with certain situations either in my mind or in reality but I certainly am capable of being that versatile. That being said, I find myself rarely using ketchup anymore because I don't eat meat anymore. Hopefully that isn't indicative of how other folks view me though as that would be rough. I'll just go on the assumption that I'm still that useful and versatile guy.

If I Were Offered The Job Of President, I Would Take It Because... (Prompt #10)

...I think I would do a decent enough job in some aspects. Sure, I'm grossly under qualified and I'm not the most skilled mediator or collaborator. I would probably offend other folks and I would make a scene now and then. I know what I wouldn't do though. I wouldn't ignore what folks wanted. Even if I wanted something different I would respect the fact that I am merely a representative of this great country and that it isn't about me, it is about the country. I'm not a parent to everyone, it's not a matter of me doing what I think is best for them (which some Presidents seem to think is their job) and screw what they want. It's a matter of being able to make what they want happen, or at the very least work through with them why I do not believe what they want makes sense in the long run.

I clearly would enjoy the idea of inviting famous musicians to my house for dinner, and since it seems like that's alright now because we have President's that do it, it really isn't. I hate the idea abusing power for personal gain. I think that thought process would really hinder a great deal of things that I wanted to do personally but would make me a much more respected leader. This past Fall people talked about wanting a 'man of the people' and that's just silly. They don't really want someone who can sit down and BS about football or anything else (sorry McCain), otherwise you wouldn't have these uber-qualified fancy-pants folks running for office pretending they were of the people.

Would I take it? Yes. Would I be good at it? Probably not very. Would I be able to do some great things and make some great changes in the world. No doubt. Would I succumb to inviting musicians to my house for jam sessions, you know it. Will it ever happen? Nope.